I Really Shouldn't Feel This Way
by FlightyBroads
Summary: Jade is in love with John, but he's too derpy to understand that. Simple one-shot that I wrote for Vee, a fluffier version of The Kind of Love I Shouldn't Feel.  Bri


**A/N**

**Hey guys, it's Bri :D This is my first Homestuck fanfic, written at Vee's request. **

**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own the characters of Homestuck. They belong to the genius of Andrew Hussie.**

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><p>That should be me instead of her. I should be the one making him smile that derpy smile of his, the one making him laugh at some ridiculous thing, the one he adores. I should be the one he loves. But no, that's not right. He's my brother! I shouldn't want him, shouldn't love him this way. So why do I? Why am I so freaking jealous of her?<p>

"Yo Jade sup?" Dave said as he stopped by me, jumping off his skate board.

"H-huh? Oh! Hi Dave how are you?" I say slightly stuttering.

"Uh, good I guess." Dave said with a questioning look on his face. "You okay?"

"No, she's not okay." Rose teased with a grin. "When is she ever okay?"

I just glared at her.

"OMG I'm just kidding!" Rose exclaimed as started toward her. "You know I'm just kidding!"

"Yeah," I said before I stuck my tongue out (like the immature little thing I am). "I know you're kidding. I just like to watch you freak out."

"Oh my God Rose, do you know where John is?" I asked, slightly hysteric. We were at lunch, at our normal table, and John was nowhere to be found.

"Chill out Jade," Dave said. "He's probably off with that chick again. What's her name?"

"Her name's Vriska, you prick." Rose said, more than slightly irritated with the idiot. "Can't you remember anything?"

"Of course he can't." John answered with a grin as he sat beside me. "What were you talking about?"

"Umm...n-nothing!" I stammered nervously. Oh my gosh I'm such an idiot!

"Actually," Rose grinned over at me. "Your lovely sister there was just freaking out because you weren't on time. Again."

"So where were you anyway man?" Dave asked through a mouthful of food. "Off making out with that Vriska girl?"

John blushed deeply. Leave it to him to be so derpy that he can't even talk about kissing his own girlfriend. Just another wonderful thing about him. And those eyes. Oh my goodness those eyes. They're just so freaking beautiful...

"Yoo-hoo, Jade!" John snapped me out of my daydreaming. "Earth to Jade! Sis come on, you're gonna be late for class!"

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><p>*Later that afternoon*<p>

Walking home from school is always a chore. First of all, it's usually six of us in the afternoons instead of the three in the morning. There's me, John(3), Dave, Rose, Vriska, and Vriska's friend Kanaya. Second of all, Vriska is with us most afternoons. Which means one thing: Vriska's going to our house. The only good thing that comes of Vriska going to our house is that her best friend-soon to be stepsister tags along. Kanaya is just as much against John and Vriska's relationship as I am, except for completely different reasons.

Rose's house is always the first stop on the way home. She (unfortunately) lives closest to the school. So after stopping by her house for about 10 minutes because her mother insisted (stupid drunk), we headed toward Dave's apartment. Dave lives with his brother, whom everyone refers to as Bro, and has pretty much the coolest everything so we, naturally, stopped there for a while. Finally we headed home.

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><p>When Vriska and Kanaya come over, the four of us pair off pretty quickly. John and Vriska head off to John's room to derp around on his computer, which always ends up with them making out at some point (yes, I spy on my brother). Kanaya and I normally end up going to the kitchen to grab something to drink and then go up to my room for some secret swapping. Today was no exception.<p>

"OH MY GOD SERIOUSLY?" Kanaya screamed in surprise. "YOU LOVE HIM?"

"Shut up!" I said, scared. "He doesn't know yet!"

"How can you love him like that?" Kanaya squeaked. "He's your brother."

"You think I don't know that?" I questioned, looking at the ground. "I-I don't know why I love him like that. I mean, I've spent my whole life with him, and this JUST came up! He's just so...so beautiful and different and I just freaking love him okay?"

"Uhh, yeah, okay..." Kanaya said, unsure. "You realize you were yelling there at the end, right?"

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed. I didn't mean for my voice to raise in that tyraid, it just...happened I guess. "So, do you have any crazy important secrets for me?"

"Umm...maybe?" Kanaya said. Her voice squeaked and she sounded unsure, but the look on her face told me that she was dying to let me hear it.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I asked. "We don't have all day, ya know. The clock's ticking."

"Okay," she began. "Well...I'm sort of maybe kind of in love with...um...Vriska." This last part was mumbled under her breath.

"Seriously? This is great!" I was ecstatic. A plan began forming in my brain. If Kanaya and I pretended to date, it would make John and Vriska so jealous of us that they'd break up to date the two of us. It was ingenious...

"Hello? Anyone there?" Kanaya questioned with a worried look on her face.

"Huh what?" I did it again, dang it! I really need to stop daydreaming like this...

"You were completely spaced out there." Kanaya told me. "What's going on in your head there?"

"I have an amazing idea." I informed her. "Come here, let me tell you."

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><p>The next day was crazy. Everything had to go just right in order for this to work. I had told Kanaya about my plan for breaking John and Vriska up yesterday, and she agreed to go along with it. So today was the day we announced our big "relationship" status. If we're lucky, we wouldn't have to fake it for more than a day or two. However, from the way things have played out in the past, we're not going to be very lucky.<p>

"So Rose," I began as we walked into the school. "I have some news."

"Oh frig, what'd you screw up this time?" She laughed as I fake-punched her for saying that.

"Excuse me," I said, "but I didn't screw anything up thank you very much."

"Well, what then?" She asked, obviously getting impatient rather quickly.

"I'm dating Kanaya!" I exclaimed as we got to our lockers. I must have had the most idiotic grin ever on my face, because at that very moment Dave decided to walk up and make a comment.

"What's with the face?" Dave asked, just as Rose let out a lovely "WTF DO YOU MEAN?"

"What I mean is," I began. "That I'm dating Kanaya. You know, Vriska's friend that always comes over to my house with her? Yeah. I asked her out last night. No big deal." I shrugged.

"Um, HUGE DEAL!" Rose screamed. "Since when do you date someone without letting me psycho-analyze them first?"

"Oh shut up Rose!" Dave said. "Now Jade, wtf are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that I'm dating Kanaya Maryam." I said. "What, is there a problem with that?"

"Oh, no problem..." Rose said.

"EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T FREAKING LOVE HER!" Dave screamed.

"Excuse me, but I DO happen to love her you prick." I said, pretending to be hurt. "Now if you'll kindly get the frig out of my way, I don't want to be late for class."

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><p>"Oh crap, here they come!" I whispered to Kanaya as we looked around the gym at that morning's assembly.<p>

"What are we supposed to do?" Kanaya freaked out in my ear, pressed close against to me because of the sheer amount of bodies around us.

"I don't know!" I answered, beginning to panic as John and Vriska got closer. "Think of something!"

The next thing I knew, Kanaya had spun me toward her and pressed her lips to mine. It was strange at first, but I quickly noticed John and Vriska staring at us, and I relaxed into the kiss.

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><p>Unfortunately, Vriska and Kanaya weren't able to come home with us that afternoon. John was...less than pleased with mine and Kanaya's kiss this morning.<p>

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING JADE!" John screamed as soon as we walked through the front door. "Do you really think this proves anything?"

"Excuse me," I said venomously. "What exactly do you believe that I'm trying to prove here John?"

"Um, I don't know?" John replied sarcastically. "That you're some freaking tortured, misguided soul who somehow ended up in the wrong family or something like that? Well, that's what your journals say at least."

"WHAT THE HECK YOU'VE BEEN READING MY JOURNALS?" I screamed, horrified. "What did you see?"

"Uhh, everything about you hating Vriska." John said, slightly confused. "But I don't get who this 'he' is. Is she cheating on me with someone you like or something?"

"Oh my God John, you're so freaking naive!" I exclaimed, beginning to get frustrated. "Do you not understand that I'm talking about you?"

"I..uh..huh...WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN ME?" It finally dawned on John after a few seconds of useless muttering.

"Yes I mean you, moron!" I yelled. "Who did you think I meant, you're freaking twin or something?"

"Oh...Oh my God Jade shut up." John began freaking out. "You're my little sister! How, I mean why would you want to date me?"

"Well, because you're you." I began to explain. "You're gorgeous, in that derpy way of yours John. I love your smile, your laugh, the look in your eyes when you look at something you love. I want you to look at me that way. I want to put that smile on your face everyday, be the one who makes you laugh all the time. I want to be to you who Vriska is right now. I don't want to be your freaking sister!"

"Oh. My. God." John said, with a look of dread on his face. "Oh my God dad can't find out about this! He'll freaking kill you Jade! You're...you're just confused, that's all! You can't be in love with me!"

"And exactly why not John?" I asked. "I'm not even your freaking blood sister! Why can't I be in love with you? There's nothing wrong with me falling in love with you. You can't call it unnatural or wrong or immoral or anything like that. Just...give me a chance, okay? Break up with Vriska and give me a freaking chance John!"

"You want me to break up with my girlfriend to date my sister?" John wondered. "How much more messed up is this going to get? Well...Vriska DID say that she's using me as a cover-up, so it shouldn't be a huge deal when I break up with her...Okay."

"OMG You'll do it?" I exclaimed. "You'll really break up with Vriska for me?"

"Yes Jade, I'm breaking up with Vriska for you." John said. "But if we're going to date, we're going to do this right. Come here."

I walked across the kitchen, which I seemed to have crossed without remembering it. God I have to stop doing that! Anyway, I walked across the kitchen over to John, who pulled me into a hug. He tilted my face up to his and kissed me, long and sweet. Finally, all was right in the world.


End file.
